Eating My Words: Chocolate Crumb Cake From BabyCakes

Okay, so does this look gluten-free, sugar-free, and vegan?

It doesn't taste like it either.

BabyCakes in the Lower East Side is pretty much the place in the city to get your snack on if you have certain dietary restrictions. They carry cupcakes, scones, donuts (!), and other delights that are either vegan, dairy-free, sugar-free, soy-free, kosher....you name it, they have it.

Now....I don't usually like vegan baked goods; let's be real, I loathe them. Greasy with oil, very heavy, off tasting...give me butter, sugar, and eggs any day of the week, please. But after I had tried their mini donuts at their boardwalk location on Rockaway Beach, I decided to relent a bit, and expand my horizons. Because those donuts were really damn good. Moist, cakey, and light, with gooey icing. You really can't go wrong with that.

This Village Voice review encouraged me to do just that, and I picked up a slice of this cake. First thought: this is thing is HUGE. When I opened the clamshell case, all I could smell is chocolate. A good sign.

My first bite: oh dear Jesus. Gooey, dense chocolate goodness. The chocolate sauce drizzled over the top was delightfully sticky, the crumb topping, slightly crunchy. It's sweetened with agave nectar and pears, but you can't really taste them very much. I'm gonna guess that they use a really intense cocoa powder, because this was as rich and complex as any chocolate cake I've ever had. I ate half and saved the other piece to have with my lunch the next day, and it was still pristine.

So, don't worry, I'm not abandoning my precious eggs, milk, and sugar. No way, no how. But it's nice to know there are tasty, quality options for folks that want them.

Oneshot: Moo-less Chocolate Pie

Intense. Rich. Chocolatey. Creamy.

And made with...tofu.

I'M SORRY, MICHELLE! I know I should have told you, but maybe you wouldn't have eaten it!

Everyone knows my intense dislike of tofu; I can't stand the stuff. It's tasteless and bland, with a texture that makes my tongue recoil. "It takes on the taste of whatever you're cooking with!", is usually what's said to try and change my mind. I want things to stand on their own flavor legs! Not a food creep that leeches off of others' hard earned flavor profiles.

But then this pie came along...and changed the game. Only slightly, because this is the only thing with tofu in it that I will eat. It's also very easy to make, using only a handful of ingredients, a blender, and a pie crust (you can make your own, or use store bought).

Melt 2 cups of chocolate chips and a 1/3 cup of Irish Cream in a bowl. You can either do this in a microwave or in a double boiler (metal bowl over a saucepan that has a couple inches of simmering water...don't waste money and buy one) over the stove. Take it off of the heat and stir in a teaspoon of vanilla. I always add a tiny bit more because that's how I roll.

Now, throw the boozy chocolate in a blender along with a block (12 oz is fine) of silken tofu, and a tablespoon of honey, and blend it until it's nice and smooth. After tasting, I added a little more honey, because, again, that's how I roll. Pour this river of chocolate dreams into a 9-inch Graham cracker crust, and put it in the fridge to set up, about two hours.

You can do this with any liquor you want, or even use little pie crusts to make little pies! Plus, if you eat it all by yourself, you can still argue that it's healthy. Tofu is high in calcium! Chocolate has antioxidants! And I'm using exclamation points!

See, I can make it work.